i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
