so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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