chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
