I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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