it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
