I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
