Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
