I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
