He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
