Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize