Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
