It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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