Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
