kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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