You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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