i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My brain says no but my pants say off.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize