For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
