how can u be prego again
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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