rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
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