I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
These tits shall not be calmed
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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