please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize