If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
