Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
