im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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