I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
