I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
dude. I can hear the air.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
