i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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