Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Terrible idea I love it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
