no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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