wat bout pragnant strippers??
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
