Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
