could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
