Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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