dude i'm inner monologue high
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
