is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
