Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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