That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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