But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
