she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
