I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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