fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
