I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
