I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think people are normalizing furries
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
