Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
someone owes me an orgasm
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
