pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
