Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
