You're earring is so big in my mouth
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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