i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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