we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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