I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize