drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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