Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
