Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
