he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
