Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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