Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
