We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
