I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
