wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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