Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
