i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
