i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
