...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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