Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
