i don't like sucking hair
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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