It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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