She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
