The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I enjoy the company of your penis
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
