I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
