i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
