Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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