doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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