Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
