My room smells like vodka and shame
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
