oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
