I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
