i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
