can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
