I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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