I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
