im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
