i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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