I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The power of my boobs compel you
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
