I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
