wanna go halves on a baby?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize